Apple’s Healer Rules.

As a babyhealer, knowing healers and having visited quite a few healing blogs, I do know not to expect much consideration and gratitude in PUGs. I know that even when I call OOM and start drinking, there’s a pretty good chance the tank will run ahead and pull anyway. I know that if the tank line of sights me and dies before I can make it into los and get my Lay on Hands off, he’s probably going to be a bitch, even if I point out that he’d gotten out of my los.

But you’d think that a tank could wait, when we’ve all just phased in and I’ve only got a half-full mana bar (I always do, unless I haven’t been questing – my questing gear gives me about half the mana my healing gear does), for me to drink before pulling. And, of course, that time drinking is what I spend tweaking my PallyPower settings, so everyone gets the right buff (mostly me – I use Wisdom on myself for the mana regen, and kings on ret or prot pallys). And directly after that is when I start buffing everyone. I’ve gone so far as to make a macro that says “Please wait to pull until I’ve had a chance to swap my gear, drink, and put up my buffs. Thank you.” that is keybound so I can pop it up whenever I enter an instance. I figure that if I do this and then start drinking, if the tank pulls, he’s an idiot and I will not heal him until I’ve completed those tasks. If the tank or DPS can’t wait for the healer to be ready, they don’t deserve heals.

I really don’t want to be a bitchy healer, but there are some things that just seem like common courtesy to me, like making sure everyone’s ready before pulling. Not if everyone looks ready (which, if their mana bar is only half full, how is that even close to looking ready?) but if everyone is ready. Or not expecting that the healer will ghost, run, get back to your corpse, and rez you while you sit around doing nothing. Now, in the middle of things, if my mana is starting to dip and I start drinking without informing everyone, I’m not so picky about pulling – I’ll SAY that I’m low on mana if I’m low enough that another pull will take me OOM. So I’ll generally keep drinking as long as I feel is safe, run into range/los (if necessary), pop a Holy Light on the tank, and then continue with my usual Flash of Light spam. But if I say I’m low on mana/OOM, and you pull… well, I will drink as long as I damn well please.

So I’ve put together a brief list of Healer Rules; or, what happens when you act like a douche/idiot and I am your healer.

  1. If I come in, declare I need to swap gear/drink/whatever, and you pull anyway, I will not save you. I will finish doing what I was trying to do when you pulled. If everyone dies and I have to run out of the instance to keep myself alive, I will do so. If you bitch about it, I will tell you you should’ve waited. If you STILL bitch about it, I will leave.
  2. If I hit my OOM macro (which declares that my mana is low and I need to drink), and you pull, I will not save you. Same as above.
  3. If the healer runs, you run. I don’t care if we’re the only two that died, for one reason or another. If I have to run back to the instance, so do you. Do not insist I rez you. If you don’t release, I’ll tell you to release and run. If you ask for a rez, I will tell you that if I run, you run. If you decide to be a brat and not release to “make” me rez you, I will vote to kick, or at the very least, suggest we four-man.
  4. If you are DPS and I “let” you die, there are probably one of two reasons: either I was trying my fucking hardest to keep the tank alive to prevent a full wipe, in which case I am very sorry and will give you a rez; or you were an idiot and either pulled aggro off the tank and didn’t try to lower your threat or pulled a group of mobs on your own and the tank couldn’t get them off you in time/was busy with the group HE had pulled. If it was an accident-that-happens (and I know they do), I’ll rez you. If you were just an idiot but it was the first time it happened, I’ll tell you not to do that again, and I’ll rez you. If you do it multiple times in an instance, I WILL STOP REZZING YOU.
  5. Similar to that, if you are the tank and keep repeatedly pulling whole rooms that I can’t heal you through, and by some miracle I survive it, I will not rez you. I’m not talking the first time, or even the second time, but fucking LEARN after that, mkay? Pitch a fit, and I’ll leave.

It’s a pretty short list right now, and I hope it can stay that way. However, with the amount of DUMB going around in the randoms… I won’t hold my breath.

5 thoughts on “Apple’s Healer Rules.

  1. I think sometimes tanks forget that their healers have to drink, *especially* if it’s a leveling instance. I was healing SM Library on a baby resto druid when the tank decided to chain pull like he was overgeared for a heroic. I was oom every one or two pulls, and he didn’t like to wait for me to drink.

    Finally he died about two pulls away from the boss after getting an entire room full of Scarlet Crusader guys on him (normally 2-3 pulls’ worth) and I couldn’t keep him up. He sniped at my heals, I told him not to chain pull, he lolled back at me saying he did this all the time, and then dropped group.

    Thankfully the replacement tank was a very nice person and we had no issues the rest of the run. :P

    At 80, I can understand tanks being a little more jumpy because most healers aren’t questing when the queue pops (queues are so fast I always make sure I’m holy-specced with mana before I even push the button) and they tend to overgear the instance as much as the tanks so they generally only drink if there was a wipe. I’m not saying it’s right to pull willy-nilly, but the healer is more capable of dealing with it.

    If I’m tanking on either my druid or my paladin, I watch the healer’s mana bar to see how they’re doing. As a general rule, if they have half mana and the next pull isn’t a boss I figure I’m good to go. And of course I’ll stop if they say they’re oom or drinking.

    1. Yeah, I can get that in higher-end instances, and depending on how high level the tank is in levelling instances, even I (at level 28) can survive just fine on half my mana, for one pull, at least. And I don’t mind it so much when I haven’t SAID anything (though it annoys me when I’ll sit and drink DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THE TANK and they run past me to go pull), but if I actually SAY I need to drink, I think it’s only fair that I be allowed to heal at my discretion if they pull anyway.

      The rare occasion that I tank, I always try to be very aware of my healer’s mana. I don’t know why it comes so automatically, either – this is my first time playing a healer, and I generally just DPS – but it just seems like common courtesy to me. This person is keeping you alive, the least you can do is make sure they’re able to do so.

      And wow, that tank sounds like an asshole. :D It’s always nice when you get a lovely replacement for a jerky kick/drop player.

  2. Strange. I’m no healer. I’m not even a group player. But all of the rules you lay out pretty much spell ‘common sense’ to me.

    Given that they are repeated on more or less every healer site I read, I really don’t envy you. But I promise, if I ever run a random dungeon, I’ll do my best to follow these rules. ;)

    1. See, it all seemed like common sense to me, too, as a DPS for a year and a half. But apparently not everyone thinks so. -_-

      I’m okay with being under-appreciated as long as they, y’know, LISTEN when I say I need something.

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